Question

[Tinkerbell]

 

[This_person]

its those motorcycle people I tell you. all of them the same.

I personally would take the advice from someone that has been in jail for non support over someone that showed responsibility in their life in a matter such as this.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

However, I told him that if he is right, then owes me back child support upwards of $12,000. I told him that I would take the court order and take it to the Social Security office to straighten it out. He says "no, don't do that".

I will only say this, good luck trying to collect the $12,000 in back support you feel he owes you. There is no court of law that I know of that will do this. You cannot go back and claim back support, if you did not have an order for support in the first place, otherwise it would be called arrears (?sp) and then you would be intitled to the $12,000. Can you imagine how many caases there would be in court if a parent decided years after the fact that they felt they were owed back child support and didn't have a support order in effect for the time they claim they were owed support? If this were the case, I'd be first in line to claim mine from my ex!

 

[poster]

you want to post your personal opinion, and you are itching to know the details about what happened about the custody situation, versus actually answering my original question. The situation happened, I can't change the past, and I'm simply trying to get an answer before I decide to sit at Clinton Social Security office for 8 freaking hours.

<<< ooooh I bet I can find a few more bones in my closet >>>>>

I'm reserving my opinion until I know why you don't have custody of your child.
Where you married to this man? With the information provided I'd say you'd be hurting only your child at this point by making waves. Are you more worried about the fact that you can't use that income to pay your bills or that he can?? Tell me what did you do with those funds?

 

[JPC sr]

Scofflaw and Personal Responsibility.

I'm reserving my opinion until I know why you don't have custody of your child.
Where you married to this man? With the information provided I'd say you'd be hurting only your child at this point by making waves. Are you more worried about the fact that you can't use that income to pay your bills or that he can?? Tell me what did you do with those funds?

All of that is none of your business,

not nobody needs to be telling you their business in order to get your approval.

The dad having the kids is not an evil reflection on the mom.

 

[Kain99]

I hate to do it, but I must agree that Dad having custody is not necessarily a horrible reflection on Mom. The story here is only half being told so I understand your concern. When I originally read this I figured she was either angry or just trying to skate on support. Guess I'm guilty of judgement sometimes too.

 

[This_person]

I hate to do it, but I must agree that Dad having custody is not necessarily a horrible reflection on Mom. The story here is only half being told so I understand your concern. When I originally read this I figured she was either angry or just trying to skate on support. Guess I'm guilty of judgement sometimes too.

This is just my personal opinion, but when custody becomes about money, the parent that feels that way is in the wrong. In this case, kbeachcat123 said in the original post:

...Due to his own fault he can't manage his money (nor does he want to work) and has said for the past two years to (quote) "just give me custody for a year, and let me have that $$ so I can get my shi$ straightened out" (CLUE).

Needless to say, he now has custody, and now states that he is entitled to BOTH the Social Security AND child support. I don't have a problem paying child support, even though he never paid a dime over the five years I had custody...

From these two bolded parts, I gather that child support was more about money than the child's welfare to the father, and the question comes from a position of being fair between parents for kbeachcat123. It's not a lot to go on, but it does give a lot of information about both people. Father sounds a bit selfish, moving his child around for no other reason than his personal finances (not the welfare of the child). Mom sounds too kind for her own good. However, it sounds like she learned about a mistake she made, and I doubt she'd do it again.

The question wasn't about whether she made a mistake with custody, though. She's asking about SS and Child Support in the interest of being fair between parents. Something tells me she'll probably end up with custody back fairly soon, as the type of parent worried more about payments than the child's well-being (ie, the father) will prove himself unfit shortly, allowing kbeachcat123 custody again.

 

[poster]

All of that is none of your business,

not nobody needs to be telling you their business in order to get your approval.

The dad having the kids is not an evil reflection on the mom.

Forgive me but if this is a private subject then perhaps it should have been just that - kept private and not posted on a forum.

 

[Vince]

This thread is the perfect reason to put JPC on ignore.

 

[pixiegirl]

I will only say this, good luck trying to collect the $12,000 in back support you feel he owes you. There is no court of law that I know of that will do this. You cannot go back and claim back support, if you did not have an order for support in the first place, otherwise it would be called arrears (?sp) and then you would be intitled to the $12,000. Can you imagine how many caases there would be in court if a parent decided years after the fact that they felt they were owed back child support and didn't have a support order in effect for the time they claim they were owed support? If this were the case, I'd be first in line to claim mine from my ex!

Not exactly correct. While I'm not sure what length of time they will make child support retroactive to they absolutely WILL and do do it. When I filed for custody of my son I of course didn't get a court date for months. We finally made it to court 6 months after the split. My lawyer asked if I wanted to seek backed child support to the time of the split. I declined but it was an option.

My last boyfriend made it to court 3 months after and was ordered to pay retroactive. Without putting his personal information out there, his child support was really high and he started out several thousand dollars in arrears.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Not exactly correct. While I'm not sure what length of time they will make child support retroactive to they absolutely WILL and do do it. When I filed for custody of my son I of course didn't get a court date for months. We finally made it to court 6 months after the split. My lawyer asked if I wanted to seek backed child support to the time of the split. I declined but it was an option.

My last boyfriend made it to court 3 months after and was ordered to pay retroactive. Without putting his personal information out there, his child support was really high and he started out several thousand dollars in arrears.

The point here is you filed paper work with the court system for custody and I assume child support. MY point is, she isn't waiting on a court date to determine these issues. Just because the court system is slow to get the cases heard isn't the plantiffs problem and they shouldn't be penalized because it took 6 months to hear a case, and should be entitled to back support to the date of the filing. The problem is, she is not waiting for the court to hear the case, she's talking about going back 3 years to get child support because she didn't file the paper work with the court then.

 

[Larry Gude]

No...

Can someone answer my question, and then you all can continue to bash me for my obvious stupidity and irresponsibily.

...no, it's no trouble. We can do both at the same time.

Isn't it obvious by his reactions that there is an issue? Simply resolve with him, if you wish, to balance out what he owes you for what he wants now. If it's $500 a month and he owes you $12k, then you'll start up in two years. You made do. Maybe he can as well. or maybe you stop when the kid is 16 instead of 18. Whatever.

If you want to know the letter of the law, I'd call SS or look it up. I'd bet it would be pretty easy to find on their web site. Otherwise, negotiate an acceptable deal.

And maybe get your kid back? Dummy.

 

[pixiegirl]

The point here is you filed paper work with the court system for custody and I assume child support. MY point is, she isn't waiting on a court date to determine these issues. Just because the court system is slow to get the cases heard isn't the plantiffs problem and they shouldn't be penalized because it took 6 months to hear a case, and should be entitled to back support to the date of the filing. The problem is, she is not waiting for the court to hear the case, she's talking about going back 3 years to get child support because she didn't file the paper work with the court then.

They will order support back to the time of the split not the filing. I'm not sure how far back they will go but they absolutely will do it. I saw a lawyer the day after I left my ex husband. I know my papers were not officially filed with the courts by the end of that month and I was still given the option to seek it back to the time that we actually parted ways. I agree that 3 years is a long time and I'd assume there is probably a statute of limitations but I'm unaware of if/what they are. I don't think that she would be entitled to anything seeing as her son got a check from the father's disability income. That would serve as child support one would imagine. If he has no other income no matter what the cause may be than there's no other way she can get anymore money. Especially if he was on disability when they were together. I also think that she would in fact be ordered to pay support based on the fact that the child support guidelines are based off percentages of what each parent financially brought to the table. If his disability is his only source of income it's considered into the equation such is her income. If he has custody of the child she will be ordered to fulfill her percent regardless of how his income comes in. I think you and I are on the same page other than when child support can become active. I wasn't speaking on this situation just a general statement because you said You cannot go back and claim back support, if you did not have an order for support in the first place, otherwise it would be called arrears (?sp) and then you would be intitled to the $12,000. which is not a correct statement. If there has never been a custody/support order in place you can go after backed support from the time of the split.

 

[JPC sr]

Scofflaw and Personal Responsibility.

Forgive me but if this is a private subject then perhaps it should have been just that - kept private and not posted on a forum.

It is not a private subject for the thread but asking private personal question is going too far.

 

[JPC sr]

Scofflaw and Personal Responsibility.

Something tells me she'll probably end up with custody back fairly soon, as the type of parent worried more about payments than the child's well-being (ie, the father) will prove himself unfit shortly, allowing [the mom] custody again.

This guy has worked it out so the story can have a happy ending by mom getting the kids back (thus she becomes an approved mom again) and then we can go back to insulting the dad again.

This is another example why mis-judging parents based on custody is messed up.

 

[This_person]

This is another example why mis-judging parents based on custody is messed up.

Too bad you didn't actually read and comprehend what I said. I talked about how I was forming an opinion based upon the stated goals of each parent (father was worried about his finances, and used his child to repair them, mom was worried about child and fairness between parents, including the child's ability to have a relationship with father).

I didn't judge based on custody. Please don't respond to my posts unless you intend to be honest (in other words, please don't respond to my posts), or until you take (AND PASS) a course in reading comprehension.

Thanks!

 

[itsbob]

Mr. Cusick,
My understanding is that SSI is for the disabled member only,

Are you suggesting Mr Cusick has a disabled member?

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Are you suggesting Mr Cusick has a disabled member?

if only one could be so lucky

 

[hvp05]

I agree and I do see the irony of it too.

So you agree that you should have such a 'relocation procedure' performed? I doubt you could find one person to vote for you... but you could probably line up people the length of 235 to help you out with this one. I am glad you also admit being aware of the irony of how you preach honesty and not slandering others only to turn and violate those very beliefs when someone poses a challenge you can not defeat.

I say any cold hearted snake can be recognized by how they squirm, hvp.

Funny you should say that, because I saw an unusual snake today. Initially, I was not sure if it was dangerous or not... but then I realized it was only a danger to itself as it continually bit itself in the azz. I posted a picture below.

 

[keekee]

This thread turns my stomach.
...poor babies...