Roadside Memorials

[Fat Momma]

I chose yours because you seemed to be very mean... and insulting... so I thought I would diffuse the situation before commenting further....

I am working on my response to this .... I cannot tell the color of a person who posts here on-line... that's the beauty of this forum... people can speak their hearts without prejudice or bias....

I also rarely notice the names because they are not real.

Please allow me to answer the rest of this post in another posting....

I am quite sure I made it clear that I am black so I am sure that did not escape your attention.

I also know that my posts are no worse than some in here. Thank you for feeling the need to diffuse this problem. This never would have escalated to the point it did if the some of the regulars in here were not discourteous, obnoxious and vindictive. Please not that I did say SOME.

Some of these topics are not to be ridiculed or mocked. What I find comical is the fact that these same people who love to attack newbies or people whose opinions may not be in agreement with theirs but when that person comes back fighting then it the people who defend themselves are in the wrong.

No, I do not think so.
I again invite you to read all the posts. Then if you want to speak to me I would be more than happy to oblige.

 

[residentofcre]

And as a candidate for county commissioner I am wondering why out of all the other posts in this entire website did you choose mine? Is it because I am black?.

Please check my profile... you will see that I post on almost every one of these threads.... I did not know you were black....

I am black. Both you and I know that. I also know that while I am black I am a human being. Therefore I have the right to speak my mind and come in here or for that matter for into any forum I chose..

I absolutley did not know you are black... the words on my page are all black and white... it's the words and what they say on these forums that make a difference... there is no color, age, or other preference in these posts....

So now here you come and you want to add your two cents into it and that is fine but if what I said did not apply to you then why bother to engage in a psychological struggle?.

The struggle of these roadside memorials is a difficult one. There is one on Rousby Hall Road that I absolutely do not like. The mother who placed it there [and guards it] is moarning the death of her son. The memorial, however, is also a tragic reminder that the reckless actions of her son took the life of an innocent gentleman who was just riding down the road minding his own business. It breaks the hearts of those of us who mourn his loss too. Yes, this mother has every right to mourn the loss of her son... but don't we have the right to get on with life? My heart goes out to her. No mother should ever have to bury a child. This memorial, however, is hurting others. Shouldn't it be moved after a specific period of time? It's been years.

For that matter set aside that I am black and tell me that the other posts were perfectly acceptable.

Yes... the others were calling attention to the fact that you were posting to a thread that was very old. Maybe they were short with you... and the fat jokes were rude.... but then again... I tried to quit smoking and gained back the 40 pounds I lost last winter along with 50 more... so my heart went out to you....

In another post someone asked if children knew what death is. I don't think these memorials are a good way to teach them. A cross with flowers on the side of the road is not going to make them understand... they wouldn't understand calculous just because you show them a calculator, right?

I would like to see a time limit on the roadside memorials.... 30 days is even too long...

 

[Angel]

I just want to know if the family is going to maintain the roadside memorial? If the memorial is in my front yard and I have to yank every damn thing out of the way to mow it, then put every damn thing back out of respect for the family... What about respect for the property owner? Is it not enough that the property owner is never allowed to forget the tragedy that occurred on their own property by no fault of their own? I'm just sayin'.

 

[willie]

Originally Posted by Fat Momma:
Look big mouth. We're typing, shouldn't it be "big fingers"? If you want to get to know me...then come meet for coffee, at the lake. Takes a brain to figure that one out.
.
Fat Momma, exactly what did you mean by "at the lake"?

 

[Fat Momma]

Please check my profile... you will see that I post on almost every one of these threads.... I did not know you were black....



I absolutley did not know you are black... the words on my page are all black and white... it's the words and what they say on these forums that make a difference... there is no color, age, or other preference in these posts....



The struggle of these roadside memorials is a difficult one. There is one on Rousby Hall Road that I absolutely do not like. The mother who placed it there [and guards it] is moarning the death of her son. The memorial, however, is also a tragic reminder that the reckless actions of her son took the life of an innocent gentleman who was just riding down the road minding his own business. It breaks the hearts of those of us who mourn his loss too. Yes, this mother has every right to mourn the loss of her son... but don't we have the right to get on with life? My heart goes out to her. No mother should ever have to bury a child. This memorial, however, is hurting others. Shouldn't it be moved after a specific period of time? It's been years.



Yes... the others were calling attention to the fact that you were posting to a thread that was very old. Maybe they were short with you... and the fat jokes were rude.... but then again... I tried to quit smoking and gained back the 40 pounds I lost last winter along with 50 more... so my heart went out to you....

In another post someone asked if children knew what death is. I don't think these memorials are a good way to teach them. A cross with flowers on the side of the road is not going to make them understand... they wouldn't understand calculous just because you show them a calculator, right?

I would like to see a time limit on the roadside memorials.... 30 days is even too long...

Becky,

thank you for taking the time to write me back. You do not have to worry I will not be returning here ever again. I have seen enough.

If people find it acceptable to make fun of those that are in mourning or harrass someone because they are looking for someone then this is not the place for me. Baynet is a more better enviroment.

Now if you would excuse me I have an 11:30 appointment for coffee.

Good bye.

 

[Uncle Rico]

I just want to know if the family is going to maintain the roadside memorial? If the memorial is in my front yard and I have to yank every damn thing out of the way to mow it, then put every damn thing back out of respect for the family... What about respect for the property owner? Is it not enough that the property owner is never allowed to forget the tragedy that occurred on their own property by no fault of their own? I'm just sayin'.

Do you have one of these memorials in YOUR yard? If so, we are listening. If not, your point is mute! Most are on county or state property and you don't have to mow those areas. If it's in your yard, then get rid of it. If it's not, then please tell us what the real issue is. Why would anyone really care about a memorial on the roadside. It may not mean anything to you but we are a society that is supposed to care about others. If some feel better with these memorials and it isn't harming you, why can't you let the families do their thing?
I have no idea why a roadside memorial (small and unobstuctive) would bother anyone! We have a lot more visual reminders (lib media) that we see every day that should be bothering us, but don't .............God Bless

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

Was scanning though the forums and saw this one and thought I would drop by.

My ex husband and I would never agree on this topic. I think they are ok only because I am over compassionate to other people. If you cut me I swear I would bleed sap.

He on the other hand was the total opposite. He felt that the grave was the most appropriate place to mourn your loss. I always thought that it would serve as a warning to others maybe on a particular road that is infamous for car accidents to take heed or as a reminder that as drivers we should always take caution because car accidents can result in a fatality. I never had a problem with them most the time but I do think that if you are going to erect one then do not let it go unattended. There is nothing worse then passing one that is uncared for. That to me contradicts the whole purpose of the memorial.

Resident you have a good point in maybe a time limit 3o days seems short to me but it is a good start. Oh maybe placing a time limit only opens up more problems than it is worth but something to think about.

Oh well I am going to go look at some other forums, new place and I cannot sleep.

 

[garyt27]

And as a candidate for county commissioner I am wondering why out of all the other posts in this entire website did you choose mine? Is it because I am black?

I am black. Both you and I know that. I also know that while I am black I am a human being. Therefore I have the right to speak my mind and come in here or for that matter for into any forum I chose.



So now here you come and you want to add your two cents into it and that is fine but if what I said did not apply to you then why bother to engage in a psychological struggle?

Like in this country black people do not have have the right to use the words they
want to use without white people giving their sanction?

They can come in here and say what they want but I as a strong black woman am forced to defend my position over and over?

Go back through all the posts not only here but for the poor missing man named mark and keep in mind those are only two out many. Then you and I can talk about this.

For that matter set aside that I am black and tell me that the other posts were perfectly acceptable.

Most of the things you have said about some of the people in here are the same things I was thinking, you beat me to it, I have started watching ALL the posts closer. What a bunch of hipocryts. It does no good to challenge this people, they won't come out. I wouldn't either. (too crazy a thing) I have had to turn off the Karma thing myself , cause some of them infuriate me, but now i have taken to little jabs back at them, little jabs for little people. It seems like some have calmed down but I won't. PM me if you want to talk further. Highhorse geeks make me wanna

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

Most of the things you have said about some of the people in here are the same things I was thinking, you beat me to it, I have started watching ALL the posts closer. What a bunch of hipocryts. It does no good to challenge this people, they won't come out. I wouldn't either. (too crazy a thing) I have had to turn off the Karma thing myself , cause some of them infuriate me, but now i have taken to little jabs back at them, little jabs for little people. It seems like some have calmed down but I won't. PM me if you want to talk further. Highhorse geeks make me wanna

The thing is I felt the same way too. Maybe cause I am still a newbie but I have gone and still go through it. But I came to the conclusion that this is forum has been going on for a while and the regulars know each other pretty well, kinda like a family and then we (newbies) come in and kind of stir things up and have to go through the initiation of being brought in.

It sucks but it is what it is. The regulars also fight among one another in here as well but they word fight and get over it (for the most part). There are some that don’t and will act immaturely but I would not judge the entire board because of the actions of a few.

No sense getting your panties in twist, this is still just a forum and unless you think your way of thinking and posting in here is actually going to change the world then why worry about it?

Fat Momma, I agree with some of the things you said but to come out swinging did not solve anything. <BTW I loved Fat Momma on TV> I would stick it out, stand up for yourself but don’t let it get to you. PM me anytime.

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Most of the things you have said about some of the people in here are the same things I was thinking, you beat me to it, I have started watching ALL the posts closer. What a bunch of hipocryts. It does no good to challenge this people, they won't come out. I wouldn't either. (too crazy a thing) I have had to turn off the Karma thing myself , cause some of them infuriate me, but now i have taken to little jabs back at them, little jabs for little people. It seems like some have calmed down but I won't. PM me if you want to talk further. Highhorse geeks make me wanna

Ahhhhh, now here's a post obviously edited by a second grader. Wait, most second graders write better than this. My apologies to all the kids who laughed at this too.

Here we have another noob who HAD to turn off his karma because HE was right and all those who gave him red are wrong. Remind you of anyone?

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

Ahhhhh, now here's a post obviously edited by a second grader. Wait, most second graders write better than this. My apologies to all the kids who laughed at this too.

Here we have another noob who HAD to turn off his karma because HE was right and all those who gave him red are wrong. Remind you of anyone?

Be nice! Don't make me come over there!

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Be nice! Don't make me come over there!

Trust me, I was being nice.

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

Trust me, I was being nice.

I might still come over there anyway. What are you wearing?

 

[Fat Momma]

Most of the things you have said about some of the people in here are the same things I was thinking, you beat me to it, I have started watching ALL the posts closer. What a bunch of hipocryts. It does no good to challenge this people, they won't come out. I wouldn't either. (too crazy a thing) I have had to turn off the Karma thing myself , cause some of them infuriate me, but now i have taken to little jabs back at them, little jabs for little people. It seems like some have calmed down but I won't. PM me if you want to talk further. Highhorse geeks make me wanna

I got a lot of PM's and nice things sent my way so I decided to stay that and I know how much it will pi$$ some people off in here in if I do.

Needless to say that my coffee date did not show up. What a surprise.

Moving on.....I think that children will learn about death in ways that we may not approve of regardless of these "Death Markers" As for that accident that Becky mentioned yes, you have the right to go on in life, just as much as the mother who mourns her lost son regardless of whose fault it was.

Perhaps other teens passing that way could see that marker and remember....I lost my mother in a car accident. The other driver was at fault and I have a marker, I keep it up and it is not some over the top scene but it is something that when I pass this particular road gives me peace when I see that and in some way think that this marker will let others not forget. They may not know her name but they will take notice.

 

[garyt27]

Ahhhhh, now here's a post obviously edited by a second grader. Wait, most second graders write better than this. My apologies to all the kids who laughed at this too.

Here we have another noob who HAD to turn off his karma because HE was right and all those who gave him red are wrong. Remind you of anyone?

Are your eyes set so close together that you can't read between the lines?

 

[Mikeinsmd]

Are your eyes set so close together that you can't read between the lines?

Yea dum dum, I completely missed that all your little threads were directed at me...

 

[residentofcre]

Perhaps other teens passing that way could see that marker and remember....I lost my mother in a car accident. The other driver was at fault and I have a marker, I keep it up and it is not some over the top scene but it is something that when I pass this particular road gives me peace when I see that and in some way think that this marker will let others not forget. They may not know her name but they will take notice.

After the 30 day limit wouldn't it be better to put something really simple instead of a cross with flowers or teddy bears? Maybe it could be little round sign that says "life" that could be planted in the place where the memorial was. It would be easier to mow around, it would not be a distraction, it would open dialogue, and it might be easier to deal with for those who lost someone. Maybe we could amend the law to add this compromise....

Would that work?

I am sorry to hear about your mother....

 

[oldman]

Not that I'm insensative to anyone that has lost a loved one but I just do not see any sense in roadside memorials. I think one might have more impact if their car were towed to and placed in front of your property. That way you are reminded and can pray daily but as for myself I'd rather go to the grave site where they lay at eternal rest or where their ashes were spread.

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

After the 30 day limit wouldn't it be better to put something really simple instead of a cross with flowers or teddy bears? Maybe it could be little round sign that says "life" that could be planted in the place where the memorial was. It would be easier to mow around, it would not be a distraction, it would open dialogue, and it might be easier to deal with for those who lost someone. Maybe we could amend the law to add this compromise....

Would that work?

I am sorry to hear about your mother....

I am sorry to hear about your mom too.

Hi Becky, I am Nicole.

I read your post and it sounds like a nice idea but to me all those signs whether it said life, death the persons name whatever would be the same thing. Maybe the teddys bear symbolize something…I don’t know…but I can honestly say that these markers do not really distract me because I see them as expressions of grief at the loss of life..

I think the Roadside memorials are something very personal to the ones that erect them and are a way of marking the location where the life of someone they cared about was lost..to me this is just a smaller scale of the 9/11 memorial that is under development even though that is really not the same thing it does share some common grounds.

For others those markers represent the death of someone and maybe that could prevent deaths from similar causes in the future.

But to those people who think it not fair on you to have to look at these flowers, think of it this way…You are only glimpsing at them without connection. I just do not agree that anybody should have the right to tell anyone not to place flowers where someone they loved died or what is acceptable or not. But that is just me.

 

[FireBrand]

I am sorry to hear about your mom too.

Hi Becky, I am Nicole.

I read your post and it sounds like a nice idea but to me all those signs whether it said life, death the persons name whatever would be the same thing. Maybe the teddys bear symbolize something…I don’t know…but I can honestly say that these markers do not really distract me because I see them as expressions of grief at the loss of life..

I think the Roadside memorials are something very personal to the ones that erect them and are a way of marking the location where the life of someone they cared about was lost..to me this is just a smaller scale of the 9/11 memorial that is under development even though that is really not the same thing it does share some common grounds.

For others those markers represent the death of someone and maybe that could prevent deaths from similar causes in the future.

But to those people who think it not fair on you to have to look at these flowers, think of it this way…You are only glimpsing at them without connection. I just do not agree that anybody should have the right to tell anyone not to place flowers where someone they loved died or what is acceptable or not. But that is just me.

I agree with Nicole,
Yet,
Those on private property should be by complete permission of the property
owners,
and those on public property should be cleared with public officials.