St. Mary's Teacher Charged With Sexual Assault

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Originally posted by ThayerP
The other thing that people here seem to be failing to understand from this article is that the boy was 15 and the teacher was an elementary school teacher. That would seem to indicate that the "teacher" was not a current teachre of the boy. He was a former teacher, who had done some councilling for the boy (which is common in the schools) about difficulties in the home. During this, he may have had the parent(s) in to discuss issues with the boy. The parents and teacher apparently became friends and knew each other for quite a while (student gets out of elem school at say 11, was 15 when this happened). So this was not just some teacher that the student haas only known since the start of the school yera. He had transitioned into more of a close family friend. Now look at it in that light. Should the parents haave had any concern?

When I was talking about not having all of the facts, I wasn't talking about whether or not he was innocent or guilty as you alluded to in your last response to me. Its obvious he is guilty (of something), he already admitted that the boy "kissed him first", and as I said waaaay back, he's going to get hit with something or another statuatory, as little as it may be.

But yes, I agree with you above, the whole story is a bit sketchy, and twisted stories usually are to begin with. And to answer your question above, no I do not "remember" ever staying with a single male adult family friend, ever!!!!!!! I don't even remember my mother letting me stay with a adult family friend couple, although its possible she may have. If I was a chick, I guarantee you my mother would have never let me stay with a male babysitter, and so on and so on. Do you see my point? There are somethings you just don't do if you can avoid it.

 

[Makavide]

Originally posted by http
I simplified the point to illustrated that there is NO reason a child should be over a teacher's house. There is no criteria, there should be no expectations and he should not be hired for anything. Get it?

First, your last few posts have been much more enjoyable with the elimnation of a certain word.

But, I do see a reason for children to be at a teachers house. Of course this comes from the fact that my wife is a teacher. She does allow students to come over, they may not be her current students but just kids from the neighborhood most of the time who know she is a teacher, and she will offer what ever kind of help they may need with school work. Plus I do know a few other teachers, who also try to do this when possible.

Of course the only "students" who spend the night are actually friends of my kids, and are there to see them. Would I allow my kids to spend the night at anther teachers house - only if they were there to spend time with the teachers kids, and I knew who they were. Is it possible I may not know them well enough? Yes it is, but I do teach my kids about inappropriate touching and they can call us whenever they need to.

 

[RoseRed]

Gee then I must be pretty dern stoopid.

An old and good friend of mine was a teacher for 13 years. Not her teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. I guess I was wrong and lucky that she wasn't molested when she spent the night there with his daughter!?!

 

[ThayerP]

Originally posted by Makavide
First, your last few posts have been much more enjoyable with the elimnation of a certain word.

But, I do see a reason for children to be at a teachers house. Of course this comes from the fact that my wife is a teacher. She does allow students to come over, they may not be her current students but just kids from the neighborhood most of the time who know she is a teacher, and she will offer what ever kind of help they may need with school work. Plus I do know a few other teachers, who also try to do this when possible.

Of course the only "students" who spend the night are actually friends of my kids, and are there to see them. Would I allow my kids to spend the night at anther teachers house - only if they were there to spend time with the teachers kids, and I knew who they were. Is it possible I may not know them well enough? Yes it is, but I do teach my kids about inappropriate touching and they can call us whenever they need to.

True. I also teach my kids what is inappropiate and they know they can call or page me anytime if there is a problem. Your situation is an example of what I was saying. We do not know if the "teacher" had kids the same age or not. If he did there might have been a legit reason for him to be there. All the facts are not in the open.

 

[SmallTown]

Originally posted by RoseRed
Gee then I must be pretty dern stoopid.

An old and good friend of mine was a teacher for 13 years. Not her teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. I guess I was wrong and lucky that she wasn't molested when she spent the night there with his daughter!?!

sleepovers with friends is different. Seems like this boy was there to see the adult.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by Kain99
If Uncle so and so is putting off vibes why didn't you catch it?

Because Uncle so-and-so belongs to her mother's side of the family and I don't really know him.

See, that's what we battle here - every other weekend the two younger girls go to their mother's and we have no idea where they are or what they're doing. Does their mother have some weird boyfriend that we should beware of? We don't know. Is she getting her freaky neighbor to babysit while she goes out? We don't know.

At some point we just have to trust the ex-wife to watch out for the kids and hope the girls will tell us if something is wrong (which they do, thank God).

 

[ThayerP]

Originally posted by SmallTown
sleepovers with friends is different. Seems like this boy was there to see the adult.

It didn't say that. Only that he was staying overnight with the parents permission. Not if there were any other children there. As for teaching the kids what to do, it appeared that this boy knew what to do because when he woke up and realized what was happening he ran out of the house and that is where the police got involved.

 

[RoseRed]

Originally posted by SmallTown
sleepovers with friends is different. Seems like this boy was there to see the adult.

I must have misunderstood http then, I thought he said no children should be at a teacher's house at anytime.

 

[http]

"First, your last few posts have been much more enjoyable with the elimnation of a certain word."

Fvck you (just kidding).

"But, I do see a reason for children to be at a teachers house. Of course this comes from the fact that my wife is a teacher. She does allow students to come over, they may not be her current students but just kids from the neighborhood most of the time who know she is a teacher, and she will offer what ever kind of help they may need with school work. Plus I do know a few other teachers, who also try to do this when possible."

That's fine, I personally have never heard of kids going over to teachers' houses for anything, and my mother wouldn't ever let me, but whatever you people do with your kids, go for it. Go ahead, make excuses for the parents all you want. I don't care, I already said they're idiots. If my child ever makes the papers, it won't be because a teacher sexually assaulted them at their home. All I'm saying is if you minimize the opportunities that a child can be in danger, you minimize the danger that you child will get into.

"Of course the only "students" who spend the night are actually friends of my kids, and are there to see them. Would I allow my kids to spend the night at anther teachers house - only if they were there to spend time with the teachers kids, and I knew who they were."

Absolutely, I agree. Let me ask you something. Would you let your single 15 year old child spend the night at the house of a 37 year old SINGLE male teacher (or male anybody) BY THEMSELVES, no matter how well you knew him?

 

[http]

Originally posted by SmallTown
sleepovers with friends is different. Seems like this boy was there to see the adult.

Thank you. Never thought I would ever agree with you here ST, but I do. That's my whole friggin point.

 

[http]

Originally posted by RoseRed
I must have misunderstood http then, I thought he said no children should be at a teacher's house at anytime.

That's fine, I will be the first person to admit that I am not the clearest person in the world.

So to clarify, yes, if the teacher had children that the child was friends with, and the parents know them, yada yada, then yes it is ok for MY child to sleepover, under certain circumstances. My whole point is if one of the circumstances is that the teacher is alone, and another circumstance is his children won't be there, NO FVCKIN WAY.

 

[RoseRed]

Originally posted by http
That's fine, I will be the first person to admit that I am not the clearest person in the world.

 

[ThayerP]

Originally posted by http
If my child ever makes the papers, it won't be because a teacher sexually assaulted them at their home. All I'm saying is if you minimize the opportunities that a child can be in danger, you minimize the danger that you child will get into.

By the same reasoning, you can minimize the danger that your child will get into, but they WILL get into danger. You have to prrepare them for that and not be naive about life. (And when you DO have children you will understand this very clearly.)

Absolutely, I agree. Let me ask you something. Would you let your single 15 year old child spend the night at the house of a 37 year old SINGLE male teacher (or male anybody) BY THEMSELVES, no matter how well you knew him?

Please quote to the forum here anywhere in the article that states this man:

a) was single
b) had no kids
c) the 15 year old was single (just kidding.)

It did NOT say that he was single and it did NOT say that if he was not single and had kids that the 15 year-old was visiting. EVEN if he was divorced and had a kid that was a friend of the 15-year-old, I would see that as not a problem for an overnight.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by http
Would you let your single 15 year old child spend the night at the house of a 37 year old SINGLE male teacher (or male anybody) BY THEMSELVES, no matter how well you knew him?

My best bud is a guy and I used to let my son go with him all the time. My Dad is a guy and my son used to go golfing ALONE with him regularly. Why does it matter what the person does for a living? It just doesn't occur to you that someone you know well and trust will molest your kid.

Http, you better get a grip buddy. Someday you WILL have kids and they WILL be exposed to all kinds of dangers. Is it unreasonable to let your 10 year old go to the bathroom by himself? Of course not, but there have been incidences where boys have been molested in public bathrooms. Is it unreasonalbe to let your kids play outside in front of your house? Of course not, but that one girl last year was snatched right out of her grandmother's front yard.

You just do the best you can, that's all.

 

[http]

Look people, do what you want with your kids

Alls I'm saying is if you want them hanging around with teachers alone after school/after hours, don't come back crying victim to the SOMD boards when Kain99 posts the Southern Maryland Extra article about your kid getting raped by one.

And if you're concerned about your kid being raped by a teacher after school/afterhours, then don't let them hang out with them. Their chances of that happening will exponentially and logarithmically go down.

 

[ThayerP]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
My best bud is a guy and I used to let my son go with him all the time. My Dad is a guy and my son used to go golfing ALONE with him regularly. Why does it matter what the person does for a living? It just doesn't occur to you that someone you know well and trust will molest your kid.

Http, you better get a grip buddy. Someday you WILL have kids and they WILL be exposed to all kinds of dangers. Is it unreasonable to let your 10 year old go to the bathroom by himself? Of course not, but there have been incidences where boys have been molested in public bathrooms. Is it unreasonalbe to let your kids play outside in front of your house? Of course not, but that one girl last year was snatched right out of her grandmother's front yard.

You just do the best you can, that's all.

How very true. And to tell you the truth, it's d*mn scary too. With every child I have had I have gotten less hair and the hair left has become more grey. This is not a coincedence.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by http
Their chances of that happening will exponentially and logarithmically go down.

And if you keep them in the house 24/7 and never let them out of your sight for a single second, your chances go down even further. It's not teachers, Http - it's EVERYONE. This one just happened to be a teacher.

 

[SmallTown]

Sure, we are throwing around a lot of assumptions. That the guy is single, that he had no kids. But the story did say he was "close" with the teacher. Seeing how the media loves a smear campaign, they would have mentioned that the guys kids have been taken to a relatives until further review, or that the wife had "no comment" on the allegations. It just fits the profile that he would be single with no kids.

If this is the case, then yes, the parents made a very poor judgement by letting their son have a sleepover with a guy in his 30s. For those defending this, would you let your young teen daughter have a sleepover with a 35 year old single man?

 

[ThayerP]

Re: Look people, do what you want with your kids

Originally posted by http
Alls I'm saying is if you want them hanging around with teachers alone after school/after hours, don't come back crying victim to the SOMD boards when Kain99 posts the Southern Maryland Extra article about your kid getting raped by one.

And if you're concerned about your kid being raped by a teacher after school/afterhours, then don't let them hang out with them. Their chances of that happening will exponentially and logarithmically go down.

And alone in a room with a telephone installation dude.

http://www.nctimes.net/news/072800/oo.html

Or alone with the priest (no need for any link on that.)

Or a preacher.

http://www.californianonline.com/news/stories/20021026/localnews/374247.html


OR FOR THAT MATTER THE MOTHERS OF THE CHILDREN.

http://www.nomsv.org/articles/pban.html

So where does it stop at? At what point do you have to trust that there is danger out there that the children are going to be exposed to...

It will happen a certain percentage of the time no matter what anybody does. That is what is so scary to parents.

 

[http]

"By the same reasoning, you can minimize the danger that your child will get into, but they WILL get into danger. You have to prrepare them for that and not be naive about life. (And when you DO have children you will understand this very clearly.)"

I have no problem with that. As I said below, its all about eliminating the possibilities of the danger. Me and the crew at my bar were talking about this just a few nights ago. Have you ever noticed all of the baby-safety and childproofing nowadays compared to what we had growing up? Car seats, plug covers, stairway gates. Hell I wonder how in the hell we adults ever made it past 5 looking at all this stuff out today.

Anyway my point is, whenever possible, if you minimize danger, danger will be minimized for THAT particular threat.

"Please quote to the forum here anywhere in the article that states this man:

a) was single
b) had no kids
c) the 15 year old was single (just kidding.)"

As I mentioned before, these are details that we have to wait on. From the original post and the poster that included details from another article, I am under the assumption that he was THERE single with no kids, and the kid was the only kid there. If I am wrong, then sue me. I doubt that I am though.

"It did NOT say that he was single and it did NOT say that if he was not single and had kids that the 15 year-old was visiting. EVEN if he was divorced and had a kid that was a friend of the 15-year-old, I would see that as not a problem for an overnight."

Sorry people, when I say single, I mean he was the only adult there. In otherwords, they were alone together, 2 people, and no others around.