Straighten me out

BS Gal

BS Gal

Voted Nicest in 08
Larry Gude said:
...I offering up something here. She does have an issue with taking responsibility meaning, to me, she has not been taught enough and held responsible enough for shirking the truth, the whole truth. I do NOT hold yopu repsonsible for that.

I've taken issue with you in SOME of how you go about it; not the fact that you ARE a very good parent. All I've ever said is sometimes you can be a little rough.
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Who is this yopu person you speak of?
 
BadGirl

BadGirl

I am so very blessed
vraiblonde said:
Because Larry and I are in counseling to learn to communicate better with each other and avoid misunderstandings. The counselor says I'm harsh and too vehement with my opinions, and this event came up as an example of me being too harsh.
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Vrai, you are not too harsh. We all know that Larry is the one that is wrong; you are perfect.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
cattitude said:
Perhaps..but they are still relatively young. I'm not saying all kids screw up but a GOOD MANY of them do.
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Mine are not perfect. And I know they won't always make smart choices, however, they both already know they will be held responsible for the choices they make and they are primarily responsible for dealing with any messes. I started this early on... example, if they mess up in a particular class, they are responsible for confronting the teacher, asking for a conference and making amends. If my son doesn't maintain a minimum 3.0 GPA throughout HS ... he will not test for his license at 16. Stuff like that.
 
H

harleygirl

Working for the weekend
vraiblonde said:
Thank you.

WHAT was the issue? It's not like I smacked the kid or even raised my voice to her.

That's what I don't understand. Larry and the counselor say I was "too harsh" but what was the harsh part? The grounding? The terms "lying" and "stealing"? Not giving her sympathy when she was slobbering on the couch?

What? :confused:

I can't stop being harsh if I don't know what I *do* that is so harsh.
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Well.....try switching places. If Larry called one of your natural kids a thief and a liar, dig down deep inside and think how you would feel..... :huggy:
 
morganj614

morganj614

New Member
vraiblonde said:
Because Larry and I are in counseling to learn to communicate better with each other and avoid misunderstandings. The counselor says I'm harsh and too vehement with my opinions, and this event came up as an example of me being too harsh.
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Ahhh. Maybe she should help you understand each others ways of dealing with things instead of making it sound like one way is right and one is wrong.
 
cattitude

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
morganj614 said:
Ahhh. Maybe she should help you understand each others ways of dealing with things instead of making it sound like one way is right and one is wrong.
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THANK YOU!!!
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
As if...

harleygirl said:
Well.....try switching places. If Larry called one of your natural kids a thief and a liar, dig down deep inside and think how you would feel..... :huggy:
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...I ever got the chance. She is consistent. This isn't a his/hers thing.

She'd have handled it the same way, maybe tougher or, if you will, harsher, with 'her' kids had they acted like 'Z' did.

We've wrangled over me feeling she was too 'harsh' on them too.
 
cattitude

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
kwillia said:
Mine are not perfect. And I know they won't always make smart choices, however, they both already know they will be held responsible for the choices they make and they are primarily responsible for dealing with any messes. I started this early on... example, if they mess up in a particular class, they are responsible for confronting the teacher, asking for a conference and making amends. If my son doesn't maintain a minimum 3.0 GPA throughout HS ... he will not test for his license at 16. Stuff like that.
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That a good plan. And I don't mean to bust on you but I raised my kids very much the same way and there were still issues..ones I NEVER would have expected to face.
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Maybe so...

vraiblonde said:
I can't share pointers because I couldn't get past the Foreward. :lol:

I'll try to find and excerpt. You'll howl.

I like the counselor, but I think she's a little more touchy-feely than someone like me can relate to. Larry loves her, so we'll continue to see her. But I should probably consider someone more aggressive.

Harsh. Like me. :jet:
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...she said you were being 'hostile', not harsh.

Wanna go see your mom together? You can watch her hit me with her shoe.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
harleygirl said:
If Larry called one of your natural kids a thief and a liar, dig down deep inside and think how you would feel.....
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If Larry could beat me to it, I'd give him a medal. I don't have illusions about any of the kids - his or mine. They are/were adults in training and the only way they learn is if you teach them. It's nothing personal.

Doug (the oldest and mine) was a terrible liar. He'd make up these dumb kindergarten stories about why he was late getting home, why his car bumper was laying in the yard, etc. Larry called him (rightfully so) a liar and the stories he made up "lies". And so did I.

:shrug:
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Not that we're aware of...

pixiegirl said:
Has the offense been repeated? If not you did a good job harsh or not. If it has you weren't harsh enough. :yay: I'm a mean mommy.
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...in terms of stealing. She tried to wear her sisters shoes the other day without permission but I made her put them back. I'd like to think it wasn't an attempted theft though, technically speaking...

In terms of the lying part, not telling the whole story, came up a week or so ago.
 
F

Fat Momma

Guest
vraiblonde said:
I just got back from a counseling session and I need a reality check. Just a few simple questions, then I'll give you a scenario that may (or may not) change your mind.

First question:




What do you call it when someone takes something that doesn't belong to them, without the owner's knowledge, and keeps it until forced to return it?
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stealing....
 
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