Straighten me out

[Chasey_Lane]

Wearing shoes is borrowing; especially between sisters.

Not in our home. K & C are not allowed to "borrow" each others items w/out asking the other one first. Both have asked me if they could ride the others scooter/bike, borrow a book/game, etc., and I've always said "not until you ask such-and-such." It is out of courtesy and respect. If something were to get broken/damaged without permission, just think how upset the other girl would be.

 

[vraiblonde]

...this HAS to stop. I expect her to be a stand up person who is not going to try and weasel and excsue and 'oh I forgot that part' her way out of life's trials and challenges. This thread, our issue, is strictly a debate over methods and degree.

There was a case of false advertsing going on at the begining of this trhead, ahem, over whether or not stealing was stealing and lying is lying and what it means when you don't tell the whole truth.

That was never the issue.

The issue is, as you stated above, between you and me, not me and Z. I was not angry at her. I was disappointed in her behavior and frustrated at her lack of candor, but not angry.

I got angry when other adults tried to downplay this incident and call it a prank and a joke. I was not angry at the kids, but at the adults.

And I ask again, what was so hostile and harsh about how I handled the situation with Z? And what should I have done instead?

 

[pixiegirl]

You still getting married?

Yes but you're still first on the list if he does something incredibly stupid!

 

[Larry Gude]

No...

Is it possible that Vrai has upped her "harshness" over the years to counteract your low-profile parenting which has caused an even wider gap between both styles...:shrug:

...she has softened some.

As for my 'softer style', we just got done hashing over a couple incidents or, if you like 'parenting opportunities', one older, one more recent, where I was being...too harsh...and she was trying to get me to ratchet it down a notch or two.

So I know damn well she knows what I am talking about. She just doesn't see it when she's doing it. Nor do I.

 

[jazz lady]

I completely agree with this. I've told the kids since they were small, whatever you do is not as bad as if you lie to me about it. You may get fussed at for the initial wrong, but if you lie NOW you are in trouble.

Exactly. If you fess up to it, take your punishment and deal with it. You make it ten-fold worse by lying to cover it up and therefore your punishment will be that much worse.

 

[Nanny Pam]

And all I can think of ...

Is the shrink reading this thread, and thinking how these forum folks really are.

 

[kwillia]

She just doesn't see it when she's doing it. Nor do I.

That's human nature. If you find a fix for it... let me know and I'll pay you a "finders fee"!

 

[morganj614]

...this HAS to stop. I expect her to be a stand up person who is not going to try and weasel and excsue and 'oh I forgot that part' her way out of life's trials and challenges. This thread, our issue, is strictly a debate over methods and degree.
There was a case of false advertsing going on at the begining of this trhead, ahem, over whether or not stealing was stealing and lying is lying and what it means when you don't tell the whole truth.
That was never the issue.

The reaction Vrai had was called harsh and hostile. That was the issue. It came out. As different people with different personalities, you each react in a different manner. To communicate effectively you need to understand you each have different personalities that can't be changed.
Now you can take that difference and push each others hot buttons or you can try and relearn a different way to communicate within the family.

 

[pixiegirl]

Not in our home. K & C are not allowed to "borrow" each others items w/out asking the other one first. Both have asked me if they could ride the others scooter/bike, borrow a book/game, etc., and I've always said "not until you ask such-and-such." It is out of courtesy and respect. If something were to get broken/damaged without permission, just think how upset the other girl would be.

You're late. I already said just because it wouldn't bother me doesn't mean it's ok.

 

[vraiblonde]

Is it possible that Vrai has upped her "harshness" over the years to counteract your low-profile parenting which has caused an even wider gap between both styles...

Actually I'm a lot less harsh than I used to be. But you're right - I tend to get more harsh when the other parent is being too lenient. And, conversely, when the other parent is blowing a gasket, I'll step in and try to calm things down.

Balance. Or dysfunction, whichever.

 

[PrchJrkr]

Is the shrink reading this thread, and thinking how these forum folks really are.

There's bound to be at least one.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 72 (53 members and 19 guests)

 

[pixiegirl]

That's human nature. If you find a fix for it... let me know and I'll pay you a "finders fee"!

Didn't we just go through this?

 

[cattitude]

No matter how much you try to drill in them that lying is the worst part, sometimes they don't seem to get it

I have one that was an angel, never lied, was just as good as gold. He hit high school and someone stole my little boy. He's 23 and I'm just now getting him back.

 

[BS Gal]

I have one that was an angel, never lied, was just as good as gold. He hit high school and someone stole my little boy. He's 23 and I'm just now getting him back.

 

[kwillia]

Didn't we just go through this?

And on a side note... I'm gonna go home and kiss the hallowed ground and be thankful I'm having to deal with a split family...

 

[morganj614]

I have one that was an angel, never lied, was just as good as gold. He hit high school and someone stole my little boy. He's 23 and I'm just now getting him back.

Peer pressure maybe. The military gave me mine back and now they "get it" even more having kids on their own. It's amazing to watch

 

[Pete]

Yes but you're still first on the list if he does something incredibly stupid!

ef.

And all you other wieners notice the word "First" above. If something goes incredibly stupid and you try cutting in line I will kick your ass.

 

[cattitude]

ef.

And all you other wieners notice the word "First" above. If something goes incredibly stupid and you try cutting in line I will kick your ass.

Did you just call yourself a wiener?

 

[BS Gal]

Did you just call yourself a wiener?

 

[Larry Gude]

Ok...

The issue is, as you stated above, between you and me, not me and Z. I was not angry at her. I was disappointed in her behavior and frustrated at her lack of candor, but not angry.

I got angry when other adults tried to downplay this incident and call it a prank and a joke. I was not angry at the kids, but at the adults.

And I ask again, what was so hostile and harsh about how I handled the situation with Z? And what should I have done instead?

...I gotto go pick up Z here in a minute...


I'll be back.