Worst ex-spouse ever?

[SG_Player1974]

SG, and I'm trying to say this as nicely as possible:

You are one of those guys who give NC dads a bad name. SERIOUSLY!!

The children are yours, too, not just hers. They are your responsibility as well as hers. She cares for them all during the year and it is not unreasonable for you to share in their expense. As far as I know... isnt the CHILD SUPPORT sharing in the expense? I guess the same argument (which is the same one I raised in the beginning) could be made for the 2 months that the NC parent has the children. Where is YOUR sharing of the expenses during this time?

While you are off at happy hour scouting for butt, she is home making dinner and overseeing homework. Totally pigeon-holing me in particular. Not ALL NCs are "scouting tail!" Some of them (me included) work 2 or 3 jobs to cover expenses. And.. although most of the time spent is over summer and there is no homework involved, there are summer activities, camping trip, ball games, movie trips, etc. that are NOT subsidized by the CP.

While you are out pursuing recreational activities, she is transporting the kids to their various activities.

While you are working late to please your boss and get a good eval and perhaps a raise, she has to pick the kids up no later than 6pm.

You use your leave for vacation. She uses her leave when one of them is sick or school is closed.

When you get home from work, you turn on the tube, grab a beer, and consider what you want for dinner. She rushes home from work to fix dinner, oversee homework, listen to squabbling, fuss about showers, and finally FINALLY go through the bedtime process.

You get one person ready to go in the morning; how many does she get ready?

Everything she did when you were married, she now does by herself.

The very least - VERY least - you could do is pay your damn child support without bitching about it.

The rest, if not ALL, of this is NOT subjective and appears to be catered to YOUR particular circumstance. Im asking you, and people at large, to look at this subjectively. Bottom line is that there is NO reasonable explanation why the roles of support payments could not be reversed during the NCPs extended time SUBJECTIVELY. Leaving out your particular circumstances, the only justification for it is that it is just the status quo and the courts mandate it that way.

Also... and this DOES NOT apply to you speciffically V but....

Why is it that so many CP parents (especially moms) will complain to the heavens about how "troublesome" it is to take care of the kids "full time" BUT, when the subject of sharing time equally with the NCP comes up and thus reducing the support payments and time with the children.... ALL of the troubles go away?

Some bitch about their support payments... some bitch about how hard it is to be the full-time parent.

 

[vraiblonde]

Bottom line is that there is NO reasonable explanation why the roles of support payments could not be reversed during the NCPs extended time SUBJECTIVELY. Leaving out your particular circumstances, the only justification for it is that it is just the status quo and the courts mandate it that way.

My ex tried to hit me up with that, wanted me to itemize everything I spent on the kids because he (she) thought he was getting a raw deal.

So I totted up every penny I spent on them, 2/3 of all household bills down to tubes of toothpaste and the water bill, and then I tacked on half of my time 24/7 billed at a mere $10/hr.

He was quiet for awhile after that.

 

[sockgirl77]

OK, I will type this, but it holds more merit when spoken. No exes, no offspring.
If & when I choose to enter into a Gr8 relationship, it will be with the female that feels the same, no matter what her past is or was, or how present matters are. I have narrowed it down though to "______".
One accepts it all & no lying or bs. Open honest from the beginning, period. If one likes or loves another, they`ll know it`s true & without ever questioning. Some may read this and laugh or whatever you do, but I know me best, I`d just like that special female to know me as well. Not going into any long drawn out rendition of blah blah blah, already said it.
Nice couples deserve a fair shot & makin a go at it. Others may or may not agree, but I don`t have to please them. Accept offspring/relatives/close friends sure. & mutually as well.
If the two cannot get that ok from both way before anything else, then Hey, it`s not that old cliché "Wasn`t Meant to be bs". If two want it to work, it`ll work. I know some of yas get tired of some possible redundancy, but a true person never will have to say he didn`t voice it. & yes I do know how to behave, listening is key, as well as communicating & compromising. Don`t have to be or play that "Know It All". Nope, that`ll turn your one you chose to be with off quick.

Okay.

 

[kwillia]

Okay.

Kaz was so much better at this...

 

[SG_Player1974]

My ex tried to hit me up with that, wanted me to itemize everything I spent on the kids because he (she) thought he was getting a raw deal.

So I totted up every penny I spent on them, 2/3 of all household bills down to tubes of toothpaste and the water bill, and then I tacked on half of my time 24/7 billed at a mere $10/hr.

He was quiet for awhile after that.

You can't itemize the cost of living for your kids! It fluctuates day to day. It can only be estimated and that is where support comes from.

In the end, there is still no reasonable, subjective explanation for the difference in payments.

Example:

CS payments are $500/month.

CP has children for 10 months = $5000 in payments FROM NCP and $0 in payments TO NCP
NCP has children for 2 months = $0 in payments FROM CP and $1000 in payments TO CP

To clarify... I am NOT arguing about having to pay support as the NCP. It SHOULD be paid to support the children. I am arguing why the CP DOES NOT have the same obligation or feel the need to have the same obligation when the roles are reversed.

 

[RoseRed]

The rest, if not ALL, of this is NOT subjective and appears to be catered to YOUR particular circumstance. Im asking you, and people at large, to look at this subjectively. Bottom line is that there is NO reasonable explanation why the roles of support payments could not be reversed during the NCPs extended time SUBJECTIVELY. Leaving out your particular circumstances, the only justification for it is that it is just the status quo and the courts mandate it that way.

Also... and this DOES NOT apply to you speciffically V but....

Why is it that so many CP parents (especially moms) will complain to the heavens about how "troublesome" it is to take care of the kids "full time" BUT, when the subject of sharing time equally with the NCP comes up and thus reducing the support payments and time with the children.... ALL of the troubles go away?

Some bitch about their support payments... some bitch about how hard it is to be the full-time parent.

I bet you could get JPC on your bandwagon.

 

[vraiblonde]

I am arguing why the CP DOES NOT have the same obligation or feel the need to have the same obligation when the roles are reversed.

Because the roles are not reversed. You have the kids 2 months; she has them 5x that. At $500/mo for two kids, you are getting a deal. I got $700/mo for two, and could have gotten $1200/mo if I'd taken it to court.

 

[GURPS]

seen a few in my time working crappy low end JOBS, suddenly the $ 2000 per month CSP start rolling in, bitch is down getting her nails done, a new dew, oh look new car and clothes .... mom is going out all the time

..... never go out and are kids wearing the same crappy clothes

 

[vraiblonde]

Here's something else that I just remembered:

For the NCP, the dating field is wide open. No restrictions, no one else to consider, they can date whoever whenever they want. If they meet someone they'd like to marry, no problemo.

For the CP it's a little more difficult because the field of men/women who want to take on someone else's children is a lot more narrow. Many folks, like myself, don't even want to date someone with full-time kids because they are a responsibility and get in the way of having fun.

I understand that giving up part of your paycheck is no fun, but that's really all you're giving up. She's giving up much more.

 

[vraiblonde]

seen a few in my time working crappy low end JOBS, suddenly the $ 2000 per month CSP start rolling in, bitch is down getting her nails done, a new dew, oh look new car and clothes .... mom is going out all the time

..... never go out and are kids wearing the same crappy clothes

Not to mention the live-in BF who makes 3x what ex makes.

I've seen it myself and THOSE are the guys who are getting hosed, not the one paying $500/mo to a woman who is struggling to make ends meet.

 

[SG_Player1974]

I am still waiting on a GOOD reason.

So basically your reasons for the CP to NOT have to pay and the reason for the NCP to keep paying is because the NCP has more free time and can find dates easier.

Is that about right?

 

[ZARA]

I am still waiting on a GOOD reason.

Here sweetheart:

Cost of Raising a Child Calculator | BabyCenter

To raise a child in this area, as a single parent, and not provide funds for college it will cost:
Total cost: $157,410
Expenses from birth until age 18
This year you'll spend: $7,760
That is 646.66 for one child per month.

If I read your post correctly, you are paying 250 per child? for a grand total of 500 a month. That is less than half the cost of raising them.

 

[sockgirl77]

Kaz was so much better at this...

Luv me back?

 

[sockgirl77]

Here sweetheart:

Cost of Raising a Child Calculator | BabyCenter

To raise a child in this area, as a single parent, and not provide funds for college it will cost:
Total cost: $157,410
Expenses from birth until age 18
This year you'll spend: $7,760
That is 646.66 for one child per month.

If I read your post correctly, you are paying 250 per child? for a grand total of 500 a month. That is less than half the cost of raising them.

I hope that includes the gas from driving the little turds around every Day which is something the NCP does not have to deal with.

This is a really sore subject with me. I'll never get the child support that I'm owed. POS is now 11 months in the arrears and the state doesn't GAFF because I'm not on welfare.

NCPs have NO clue exactly how much it costs to raise a child. NO clue.

 

[RoseRed]

I hope that includes the gas from driving the little turds around every Day which is something the NCP does not have to deal with.

This is a really sore subject with me. I'll never get the child support that I'm owed. POS is now 11 months in the arrears and the state doesn't GAFF because I'm not on welfare.

NCPs have NO clue exactly how much it costs to raise a child. NO clue.

You would think it would get easier, but it doesn't when being the Mom taxi. When girl was younger, she had up the three dance classes a week and Girl Scouts on another day. That didn't include the rides to/from school/daycare. The last two years was cheerleading and basketball and school dances, among other things. At least a lot of us parents would take turns carpooling. Now HS is coming up and she can't wait to get her DL. THAT is a whole 'nother story!

I can't imagine doing it x3 like you and others do.

 

[sockgirl77]

You would think it would get easier, but it doesn't when being the Mom taxi. When girl was younger, she had up the three dance classes a week and Girl Scouts on another day. That didn't include the rides to/from school/daycare. The last two years was cheerleading and basketball and school dances, among other things. At least a lot of us parents would take turns carpooling. Now HS is coming up and she can't wait to get her DL. THAT is a whole 'nother story!

I can't imagine doing it x3 like you and others do.

Plus driving 55 miles to work just so we cam survive.

 

[DoWhat]

Plus driving 55 miles to work just so we cam survive.

Cam you drive a little slower and save money on gas?

 

[sockgirl77]

Cam you drive a little slower and save money on gas?

I rarely even go over the speed limit.

 

[Bann]

I could tell stories.........

So could I.

 

[Merlin99]

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

Its called the 2 month a year that the NCP has the child.

BUT... if the NCP has to pay their fair share during those 10 months which they are "getting a break" then Why shouldn't the CP pay as well during their break?

This is the root of the question.

Might be easier to look at as $3600 per year, broken down into 12 easy monthly payments of $300. If you want the best answer for child support though look for a guy named Jimmy Cusick, whatever he tells you to do, do the exact opposite and you can't go wrong.